The risks and results of parental pressure

By Cheryl Wong

The pressure put on students from parents is a topic often spoken of. With the constant breathing down necks when studying, and the attention and significance put on grades, the expectations brought upon students is always prominent. To some students, the simple task of informing their parents of their school report results can be a nerve-racking task. In the eyes of parents, the pressure may merely stem from concern for the future of their children, or hopes for what they can achieve, but is it all beneficial for students?

As students near the end of their high school experience, they face one of, if not the most important crossroads of their lives. The topic of further education is constantly brought up in conversations, with judgement on preferred universities, majors and even locations by relatives, family members and more. With the already difficult decision being placed upon students, the added pressure and influence from parents make the decisions even more strenuous. From comments on how pursuing a degree in Medicine or Law instead of one in Design or Arts is better, to those on staying in Hong Kong or studying overseas, the many directions students are pointed towards increase the struggle significantly.

Parents may view these concerns and expectations as motivation for students to work harder in order to meet their goals, but in reality, this is often not the case. Some students share how they avoid discussing their academic performance with their parents as it takes a toll on their familial relationship, and others express how they feel as if they are studying for their parents instead of themselves. As a result, we see those who work to meet their parents' expectations of a successful student or trying to achieve the goals their parents wish for them to reach, sacrificing their own interests and dreams.

Of course, there are those on the other side of the spectrum. Although an excessive amount of parental pressure on students is shown to be pernicious, a lack of concern from parents is also an issue. Those with parents who do not regard their academics at all may not feel the need to work hard, causing them to lose focus on their studies and stray away from the importance of education.

Personally, my parents are right in the middle of the spectrum. They express their opinions on the importance of doing well academically but do not put much pressure – if any at all – on me to reach high marks. It is often the case where I feel disappointed in myself for achieving lower scores and my parents comforting and assuring me that it is alright. From the regular discussions with my parents on my future education path, they are able to share their knowledge and research and guide me on possible paths I can take.

At the end of the day, parents just want to help their kids succeed in life and build a bright future, but often do not know the correct and healthy way to express their concern, which may be translated into stress and pressure. It is crucial for parents to find the middle ground suited for their children and better aid their children to find the direction they would like to take in the foreseeable future.