Oh yeah! What about your Mom’s codswallop?
A revised and updated look at humorist Art Buchwald’s immortal piece Oh Yeah! What About Chappaquiddick?
Author’s Note:
Written in 1973 by the renowned political satirist Art Buchwald, his piece “Oh Yeah! What About Chappaquiddick” was created in response to the Nixon administration and its defenders during Watergate, the infamous American political scandal which eventually brought down the president. The satirical piece was used to poignantly criticize supporters of the Nixon administration during the scandal, who often uses the Chappaquiddick incident as a deflecting point during debates or arguments. It came back into the spotlight in August 2017 after it was shared by Keith Olbermann as the Trump Russia Scandal heated up, with many tactics and talking points made by the Trump administration giving deja vu when readers revisit the Buchwald article.
However, as times change, even immortal pieces can seem outdated to the current crowd. The excuses politicians and pundits spew to the public to deflect attention and blame have shifted throughout the years and vary by country and culture, plus this humorous piece on political scapegoating does have dated references and irrelevant points. So, as a homage to arguably the best piece of political satire in human history, a revised and updated parody of this masterpiece.
These past years have been difficult times for any loyal defender of the current administration, as scandals loom with pesky fact-checkers, hardworking reporters, and political opponents chasing your back demanding accountability, copy and download this piece if you are a political hack who will do and say anything to protect your powerful BFFs (Warning: Using talking points from this text to sow lies and mistruths could result as evidence in court, and the best case scenario requires a payment of at least $787.5 million US Dollars).
It’s all political talk, who pays attention to these things?
What about your mom’s codswallop?
It’s all for the good of our national security!
Something something something woke “cancel culture” CRT…
The mob is after our President!
It’s all just biased views from Western media.
The opposition are just sore losers because they lost the last election.
It’s all just prelude when the facts aren’t out yet.
What about your mom’s codswallop?
Are you a traitor to this country? I support my President because I support my nation!
The only problem about this whole debacle is that they got caught.
It happens in America all the damn time!
These folks will oppose the dear leader no matter what he does.
I would rather have a crook in the White House than an impotent loser as my President!
Foreign forces are interfering in our domestic affairs.
What’s the big deal about finding what the opposition is up to? (Whoops, see Olbermann video as a used defence)
The President can’t control what his cabinet does!
What about your mom’s codswallop?
Clickbait takes it out of context — the President would never say something like that!
Have you heard about deep fakes? You’re probably being fooled by robots!
I’m a law and order guy, but you must crack a few eggs to make an omelette!
Look at that side! Have you ever seen something like that?
Have you seen the stock market yesterday? More reports on this scandal will lead us to a recession!
Donald Trump has done worse things than that!
Everybody is sick and tired of hearing this mess, and the silent majority will have their revenge!
Why doesn’t the media report Hunter Biden’s laptop in which he has connections to Burisma which bribes Ukrainian officials to marry Chinese lawmakers and…
It will be so funny watching the eggs on their faces when the President talks about it on TV!
This should be handed to the professionals in the courts, not in news debates by hot-headed liberals!
It’s done by you know who.
What about your mom’s codswallop?
I never trusted the whistleblowers from the start!
When does the media ever start reporting the GOOD news about the President?
I think whoever spreads these rumours should be shot with a Nerf gun.
Rant and yell emotionally with a word salad about how upset you are at everything.
If the situation allows, add swearing and whatever colourful language you want
If the situation is professional or in a school setting, just ask, “What about your mom’s codswallop?”