Feminism is rejecting femininity
By Audrey Yip
I wanted to be a scientist at some point. Not just any scientist, but a female scientist. I wanted to make groundbreaking discoveries in a lab full of men, watching as their faces go from jeering and taunting to shock and awe. Of course, I wasn't actually interested in science. My impressionable younger self was fed the sparkly feminist narrative of "killing two birds with one stone". It was the appealing fantasy that I would fight for gender equality with my successful career in a male-dominated field of work.
At the same time, though, I felt that my passion for fashion was somehow invalid as a feminist. Even though I did enjoy designing and styling clothing, I thought I would somehow contribute to the patriarchy if I pursued this as a career. After all, it is a gender stereotype for women to be frivolous with clothing. But why can't women in traditionally feminine jobs be just as empowering as women in STEM?
The same avoidance and even distaste for traditionally feminine things also applies to behaviour and character traits. Being sensitive, nurturing, and emotional is seen as a weakness, a flaw, rather than just human traits. Many male students I interviewed mentioned how they feel insecure about expressing sadness because it is often equated to being "weak and fragile".
Year 13 student Megan Chan observed that, "people often think traditionally feminine behaviours and roles are bad because it's kowtowing to the patriarchy… the only reason it's "kowtowing" is because women were historically forced into those roles."
Second-wave feminists from the National Women’s Liberation Movement on September 7, 1968. Bettmann Archive/Getty Images
In particular, women in second-wave feminism felt oppressed by parts of the patriarchy that involved femininity. They saw traditionally feminine roles and behaviours, such as wearing makeup and being nurturing, as demeaning to women. They often felt empowered by rejecting femininity and adopting masculinity. While rejecting femininity may have encouraged more women to adopt masculine traits, it has further reinforced the patriarchal belief that masculine qualities are superior to feminine ones.
And that's not what feminism should be about.
"A major goal of feminism," Megan said, "is to take down gender binaries and gender stereotypes. " It essentially means you can be whatever you want regardless of your sex and gender. However, the rejection of feminity has clearly persisted from the age of second-wave feminism and is still prominent in modern society.
This is why the current feminist movement needs to step up and push for more empowerment of feminity.
People should feel comfortable doing what they want regardless of their gender. Whether it be feminine or masculine characteristics, there should not be gender barriers to people expressing themselves or pursuing careers. The feminist movement can still push for the empowerment of masculinity. But it doesn't mean the same can’t happen for femininity.
By empowering femininity, you give people a choice and let them feel okay about being feminine. During our interview, Megan also mentioned that, "It's an entirely different story if people choose to do those roles because there's nothing wrong with wanting to be a housewife or a mother or wearing makeup and that sort of stuff."
People should embrace feminine characteristics such as being forgiving or sympathetic without feeling like they are a spineless pushover; that was how femininity was presented in the 1960s. All humans naturally have these traits, not just women, and they are a fundamental part of human society. We can't live in a world where everyone are egocentric alpha males constantly trying to outcompete each other; we need these feminine traits to ensure cooperation and collaboration in society.
The same goes for careers and roles in societies. Women should be able to choose to pursue STEM. At the same time, they should not feel pressured into pursuing STEM just because they can supposedly avoid kowtowing to the patriarchy. Women should be able to choose to be stay-at-home parents and housewives without people scorning them for being lazy or conforming to the patriarchy. Feeding screaming little demons or cleaning the house is an awfully backbreaking job, and it is wrong for jobs like these to be shunned by feminism.
Feminism has let traditionally feminine roles and behaviours be presented as a part of the patriarchy for too long. Femininity is not getting the credit it deserves, and it's about time we acknowledge its immense importance to society and empower people to embrace their femininity.