Bullying: the key is the bystander

By Anna Wheeler

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Bullying is an objectionable and obnoxious action that takes place more than once to a victim. There are two main roles — the aggressor and the target. Bullying can be verbal or physical and sometimes happens online. This is called cyberbullying. It’s a type of bullying that takes place on any social media platform, sometimes by someone the witness knows, or an anonymous person. Bullying can also lead to sexual abuse. 

The following statistics are from American schools: 33% of kids from schools say that they are bullied at least twice a month. 13% have been made fun of, called names, or insulted. 12% were the subject of rumors. 5% were pushed, shoved, tripped, or spat on; and 5% percent were excluded from activities on purpose. 

How does bullying start?

Many kids, and even adults, experience bullying, but it’s sometimes better to first consider why the aggressor is acting in a specific way as there is always a reason why bullies act as they do. Aggressors tend to let out all of their rage and anger on someone who’s weaker than them. Upon seeking help, the target is typically the one that receives it, whilst the bully is punished. Not to say that schools shouldn’t treat the bully with complete respect — after all, they still did something bad —but schools should also consider the aggressor's opinion and reasoning. 

Cyberbullying is more difficult because you don’t always know who the person is. However, in most cases, it’s someone at school posting mean comments or inappropriate images, or just generally gossiping about people on a private or public website.

How has bullying changed over time?

The internet has had a massive impact on bullying by creating new opportunities for it. Technology is, in many ways, the greatest thing society has ever invented, but it does have its disadvantages as well. Someone with extensive knowledge of how to use a computer can hack someone else's and cause disturbing actions.

This is a huge problem that will probably never end, but there are ways to stop it in specific cases. I hope that our sites can be more secure in the future, and we can have more ways to prevent these cases. This might also be the same for physical and verbal bullying.

For the purpose of research, I went to an expert to go more in-depth. I asked Primary Vice-principal Stephanie Howdle-Lang some questions on bullying and how she would react and reply to them. The following is a summary of the interview that took place:

Do you have any experience of being bullied?

Howdle-Lang said that she had been bullied before, and they often made sure she was alone before doing so. The bullies were younger than her most of the time but it really depends on what they’re saying and doing rather than what they look like and the age. But yes, in some cases, age matters. 

Was there ever a situation where you had to confront an aggressor?

Yes, and no. She was never properly there when it was happening. She wasn’t there to stop the event itself but to stop the ongoing build-up.

What would be your first move to helping a target?

There are a lot of things you could do, it depends on the situation. You could re-direct or you change the topic of the sentence if it’s verbal bullying. On another hand, you can take charge of the conversation and just drag the other person away, but these are, of course, assuming it’s a verbal confrontation. In a physical situation, there may need to be more than one of you.

Do you think bullies choose to be bullies?

It’s not really a choice, they probably thought that what they’re doing isn’t bullying. When they’re bullying it makes them feel like they’re in power, and that’s responding to something that they need or don’t have, like attention, for example. 

Does a bystander choose to be a bystander?

In some ways, it isn’t really a choice. It is often really hard to do something all on your own to stop a verbal fight. Peer pressure is also a very big part of it. Bystanders don’t just choose to be bystanders, there’s always a reason why.

Are bystanders wimping out, or is the action of standing up harder than it may seem?

Bystanders are also misunderstood as well. Aggressors tend to do things in groups, rarely one-on-one. Bystanders are in some ways helpful to the aggressor since they don’t take a step into the action, and their purpose is left unsure. Although after the scene ends, the bystander usually tells someone, the bystander is usually the one to not step in when the scene happens, but are more likely to help after they know that they won’t fully get involved. 

Given everything above, bullies certainly need to be understood, but we should never accept their actions. We should investigate how bullying happens, so we know how to confront a target, or help other people become up-standers.