Dating in the time of IB

By Jane Chan

The question as old as time … As students begin preparing for a new year, whether it be ascension to the Diploma Program or Middle Years Program, students begin to wonder. Should I hit up my classmate in English class? Slide into their DMs? Or should I focus on my studies?

Our parents have an obvious answer: STUDY. But human psychology is not so simple. 

To advise you all on the question of dating in the time of DP (or MYP), nine members of the the class of 2020 share their take on relationships in the classroom.

#1 A basketball player.

“Don’t date.”

#2 The chill one at Starbucks

“In terms of whether you should study or date, I think [they’re not] mutually exclusive. Studying shouldn’t affect your dating life, while dating shouldn’t affect your study life. Just because someone studies a lot doesn’t mean they don’t have the means to be dating. Just because someone dates a lot doesn’t mean they’re a bad student. To be honest, if the opportunity arises and you genuinely like the person, then you should date. If it doesn’t happen, don’t date someone you “kind of” like and waste everybody’s time. Going out of your way to actively search for a person to date is unnecessary as it will gobble up your productive time, if you have so much free time go do something more interesting.  Don’t spend all your time dating or all your time studying, do both! You are going to study and also date at the same time in university as well!”

#3 The male in the committed couple. 

“Dating and getting good grades aren’t mutually exclusive. Dating someone shouldn’t and will not necessarily consume your life. As long as you find the right partner, you’re going to be able to balance your life just fine. The only thing you need is good time management, or throw in a few study dates.”

#4 The female in the committed couple

“Be friends with [your romantic interest.] Don’t date someone who’s been through your entire friend group, enjoy and support each other. If you want to date (even if it’s just a fling) make sure that person has a positive impact on you.”

#5 A sailor

“If you don't want to be [in] a committed relationship, hooking up with people is fine, just wear [protection]... Harm reduction.”

#6 English Lit taker!

“scholarship>relationship”

#7 Another male in a committed relationship 

“Know your priorities and expectations, and also your boundaries especially during a time when everyone is working towards uni. If it’s adding stress rather than helping you de-stress then there’s probably a problem.”

#8 A complication of academic tryhards

“Don’t rush into things.”

#9 (Me, an academic tryhard)

“Long term relationships are hard. As people open up about their insecurities and issues, things can get messy. My advice is to keep working at it unless you guys are completely incompatible. In terms of the nature of our school (international), knowing that many students will be in different places, if you have a crush, you should shoot your shot anyways - there’s no guarantee you’ll see them again after you graduate. Similarly, if you’re in a relationship but facing the issue of long distances in college, my advice is to make sure everyone is on the same page. If you’ll break up before going to college, make sure the other person is completely on board - vice versa for if you’re trying to do long distance. There may be some hard conversations involved, but it’s definitely worth the emotional distress.”